​Creating A Home Of Kindness

It’s not difficult to teach children to be kind and that kindness has value. "When you do something for others, it makes you feel good. It benefits both the giver and the receiver," says Julie Kaufman of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation in Denver. Those great feelings can snowball into children wanting to do more kind things." 

Here are suggestions for bringing more kindness into your family:

​MODEL IT

The best way to teach your children kindness is not by explaining: it’s by doing. Whether you do volunteer work, mow an elderly neighbor’s lawn or just treat others with dignity and respect, children watch and want to emulate. 

​BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN

If you run a kind, respectful household, children learn what it feels like to be treated kindly. That doesn’t mean that you never punish a child. But it does help to keep punishments verbal, not physical, and to make sure that all discipline is accompanied by an explanation.

​REWARD KIND ACTS

Shower your children with attention when they’ve done kind things. Find creative ways to reinforce and reward the kind behavior such as using a star chart, or schedule a special activity. If you catch your child doing something kind, give them a star on the fridge, and have those build towards a treat such as a special dinner or an outing.

​GIVE CHILDREN TASKS TO DO

Studies show that children who do housework have better feelings of responsibility and self-worth years later. And children who feel good about themselves are more respectful to others.

• Kids ages 3-5 can help put away their toys and set the table for dinner. Or, even just play quietly while you prepare meals. This is the age to get them started on kid friendly recipes!
• Kids ages 6-9 can sweep and dust. At dinnertime, they can set the table and do tasks such as washing vegetables and tearing up lettuce leaves for salad.
• Kids ages 10-14 can help mow the law and cut the grass, take out the garbage and with guidance, can even prepare the family dinner.

​WATCH THE LANGUAGE

Words have enormous power.  Work on purging your vocabulary of words such as stupid, shut up, idiot and any racist or biased terms. When your child says such words, right away tell them that those words hurt others and ask them to rephrase what they want to say. No need for a big lecture, just a quick correction.

​MAKE FRIENDS

Friendship is the most long lasting way we can show kindness to another person.

• Encourage your child to befriend someone at school who is lonely or left out.
• Have your children make friendship bracelets and necklaces.  Once they’re made, encourage them to give away at least two.

READ ABOUT IT

Slip some kind books into your household reading list.  Ella's Way books are age-appropriate for the preschooler and will allow the parent or teacher opportunities to discuss the diverse characters and how they display kindness toward each other.

​EDUCATE CHILDREN IN HOW TO HELP OTHERS

Teach your child about the many state, national and global organizations that help others. Take them to food pantries, neighborhood kitchens, nursing homes to show them the value of volunteer work.

• Participate in a walk or run that raises money for a good cause.
• Donate regularly to the local food bank.
• Let your child think of ways to help out victims of hurricanes, earthquakes and other disasters.
• If you have money to give to charity, ask your children to help you decide who to give to.
• Initiate a fundraiser through school to help people in need.

ENJOY KINDNESS

Finally, the whole point of being kind is to make the world a more fun, safe and happy place. So when your child does a kind act, when you witness something kind or even when you’re the recipient of kindness, show your joy. Keep an open discussion about your feelings around kind acts and let your child feel how wonderful it is to give, and receive, from others.